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How Our Team Members are Coping with Wedding Planning During the COVID-19 Pandemic

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If there’s one thing we want you to hear from us this season, it’s WE FEEL YOU! We’ve heard from countless brides over the past two months who’ve had to postpone, cancel or alter their wedding plans – and a few of our Brides of Oklahoma teammates are among them. And while we count our blessings that we are group of gals (and one guy!) that love to celebrate life’s special moments together, it’s so disheartening to see their plans go to the wayside. Read on to see how our spring and fall 2020 brides-to-be, and even a summer 2021 bride, are coping with the corona-craziness and what advice they have on staying positive, keeping on track with the wedding planning, and making changes as needed.

How Our Team Members are Coping with Wedding Planning During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Rachel Luetkemeyer 

  • Graphic Designer
  • Wedding date: originally set for March 21, 2020 // rescheduled for August 8, 2020

What events have you had to postpone or cancel?

When word spread that the NBA season had ended after a Jazz player (who was in Oklahoma City for a game) tested positive, I had a gut feeling that my wedding, scheduled for the next weekend, would need to be rescheduled. I just knew that things would only be getting worse, and I felt like at least a week and a half in advance was enough time to let all of my guests know not to travel.

I called my amazing wedding planner, Blair Sims, who had jokingly sent a text that morning saying, “We’re getting you married next week no matter what Corona says!” I said, as much as I would like that to be true, what would postponing the wedding look like? I just couldn’t imagine getting married without all of my friends and family there, while at the same time, I would NEVER want anyone to get sick at my wedding. I said the only sickness I wanted going around my wedding was boogie fever! She was quick to comfort me and tell me that she would do everything she could to help. I started by calling my mom, who then contacted our church and our venue to see if they would be okay with moving it. She also checked on dates available for both, and we found August 8th to be available! 

I called Blair and asked her to help me contact my vendors to see if they had August 8th available. As I called each of my vendors, my voice cracked and tears started flowing as I had to say the words, “We are going to have postpone the wedding.” Being the amazing people that they are, each and every one comforted me and told me they would do whatever they could to help. By some sort of miracle, EVERY one of my vendors had August 8th available and were incredibly helpful to shift my contracts to the new date. I know that I am beyond lucky to have found a new date that would work for all of my vendors, as so many brides and vendors are scrambling to reschedule now. 

It is such a tough time, not only on engaged couples, but on all the amazing wedding vendors who have worked so hard behind the scenes for months leading up to these events, only to have them all delayed. While it is heartbreaking all around, it has been amazing to see so many couples and the wedding industry coming together to help each other out to prove that weddings are truly about one thing: LOVE. Not only the love of happy couples, but the love of all the families and friends that come together to celebrate; the LOVE wedding vendors have for what they do, whether it’s capturing these special events in photos and video, or filling the receptions with the most beautiful flowers, making the most delicious cake, setting the scene with luxe table linens, or getting all the guests on the dance floor with the perfect song. Weddings are a celebration of LOVE. And hopefully once this is all over, we will all be able to go back to celebrating together!

My mom asked if I wanted to go ahead and get married on our original date, and then just have a reception down the road. I said no. I know people say that at the end of the day, a wedding is really just about you and your fiancé and the love you have for each other. This is true, but I feel like a wedding is much bigger than just two people – it’s about bringing a new family together. It’s about all the people in your lives who have shaped you into the person that you are, and in turn that have been a part of your love story in a way. I just couldn’t imagine getting married without everyone I loved there to witness that special moment. I also think a wedding is your one chance to have everyone you love, from different parts of your life, together in one room. It is a truly special moment, and I can’t imagine giving that up. I would happily marry my fiancé any day, but I’m looking forward to spending our wedding day with everyone we love.

How have your wedding plans changed?

Luckily, the only thing that has really had to change is the date. My amazing vendors were able to make the new date work, so we really are incredibly lucky. I’m currently preparing a digital save the date, but plan on sending out another printed invitation. I am planning on doing a digital RSVP through my wedding website this go round – it was so tough getting all of those reply cards back in the mail the first time. 

Also, I have 500 koozies and 500 cups with the wrong date printed on them, but I guess it will be an inside joke! I also had planned to have my dance floor filled with Irish/St. Patrick’s day themed flair (my fiancé’s name is Patrick, and our original date was just days after the holiday)… and I even went so far as to order custom shamrock hats with our names on them! So I guess it will all just represent how LUCKY we are that we are celebrating together! Haha!

How are you feeling during this time?

A few days after cancelling, I felt relief knowing that the decision had been made and that a new plan was in motion. The days leading up to my postponing, I had been nervously watching the news every day and staying up all night reading every news article. I was in a constant state of panic. I would have been such a wreck if we had gone through with the wedding. I know we made the right decision, and take so much comfort in knowing that we will have our day eventually.

How have you found positivity during this time?

I don’t know what I would have done without my amazing family through this all. My parents were supportive and comforting when I called in tears. They told me they wanted me to have the wedding I’ve always dreamed of, and that we would make that happen no matter when! 

My incredible friends sent amazing flowers letting me know they were thinking of me. On our wedding day, more flowers arrived from my future mother-in-law that matched our wedding palette perfectly. It was such a sweet gesture.

The day we were supposed to get married, I was very sad, but also so thankful for the support of all of my family and friends. I put on my veil from my bachelorette party and made my fiancé pose with me toasting with Corona beers! I posted it to social media, and received so many sweet messages from people all over, even people I hadn’t seen in years! It was so sweet to have so many people thinking of me and supporting us. 

How have you been able to stay productive in your wedding planning?

I have NOT been productive in keeping up my pre-wedding workouts, so that is something I will need to jump back on before August arrives.

What’s amazing is that everything was already planned and ready to go, so now there isn’t much left to do! It’s kind of nice feeling like it’s all set – just have to wait for the day! I do have to update programs and invitations, but those are both such small steps in the grand scheme of wedding planning! 


Madison Doornbos

  • Office Manager / Social Coordinator
  • Wedding date: May 16, 2020

What events have you had to postpone or cancel?

I was lucky enough to have family friends host a shower for me the week before the official CDC recommendations were released. Looking back, it was perfect timing that I was able to see so many people I loved before this indefinite period of isolation! There was a second shower scheduled for April 26th that had to be cancelled, which was especially disappointing, given it was a family event with most of my extended family whom I adore.

How have your wedding plans changed?

We made the decision to postpone our reception, but still get married on our original date. It feels so good to know exactly what our plan is, rather than to wait and call it at the last minute. 

For the reception, we’re trying to stick to the original plan as much as possible, using the same vendor team, bridal party attire and special detailing. I’ve been thinking of ways to create a vibe that makes guests feel as if they’ve entered our reception space after attending our ceremony just before. At the same time, we want people to feel more relaxed and casual. Coming up with new ideas has been fun!

Our wedding ceremony guests will include my fiancé’s parents, my parents and each of our siblings. It will be a very intimate ceremony size compared to our original 350 guest-count projection! At this time, my florist will still be able to create an installment for the ceremony and a bouquet for me to carry. Afterward, we’ll all have a home cooked meal together and maybe even swim in the pool! It may actually be better than what we had originally planned. We definitely won’t forget it!

How are you feeling during this time?

I’ve been trying not to get too attached to my plans or ideas with everything changing so fast. “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on Earth,” Colossians 3:2. The only thing that really matters to me is marrying Chase and starting our life together! Unless our health prevents us from doing so (or the courthouse closes – LOL), nothing will stop us from getting married!

What has been your biggest concern while planning during COVID-19?

My biggest concern is that our new reception date will still be in danger of getting cancelled due to regulations and laws. 

How have you found positivity during this time?

Finding gratefulness and contentedness in the new normal. We’re all living day-by-day now! Taking a walk with my family in the evenings, cooking a new recipe, starting a project and FaceTiming loved ones are all things I look forward to that normally wouldn’t have received so much hype. 

How have you been able to stay productive in your wedding planning?

I think most of us have more time in our day now, so I’ve been finding it much easier to hop on a quick call or send out emails. My planner is really the one to credit for everything that’s getting done – she has been working so hard!

photo: Mark Boatright Photo


Carsyn Abrams

  • Content Creator
  • Wedding date: October 24, 2020

What events have you had to postpone or cancel?

So far, I haven’t had to postpone anything except bridesmaids dress shopping with my girls. Praying that I won’t have to move my bachelorette party and showers in August! We are very hopeful this will all be over by October! 

How have your wedding plans changed?

So far we are relatively unaffected, but we are closely monitoring everything just in case the guest count restrictions are still in place in October.  

How are you feeling during this time?

I am feeling more stress as a wedding vendor than a bride (I also photograph weddings professionally). It breaks my heart to see so many couples loose all of the work they have put in over the past year. As a bride, I’m trying to focus on the positive and remember that so much can change in six months! 

What has been your biggest concern while planning during COVID-19?

My biggest concern is that my guests will feel unsafe at our wedding. My top priority is making sure our guests feel cared for and aren’t spending the evening wondering if they will get sick after our big day. 

How have you found positivity during this time?

I have had so much time to work on the small wedding details that I otherwise would have put off for months! I’ve found the perfect getting ready robes, my dream shoes, and am in the final stages of designing my invitation suite. There really is beauty in all this down time and having the time to put toward fun things like online shopping.

How have you been able to stay productive in your wedding planning?

I have made weekly to-do lists, not daily lists. I’m giving myself lots of grace during this season and know that it’s okay if I don’t accomplish everything in one day. I can make up for those less productive days on days that I have the energy to do lots at once. We are all learning during this time, so try different things and figure out what works for you! Time blocking, lists and accountability partners are all great things to start with! 

photo: Melanie Foster Photography


Hanna Smith

  • Wedding Editorial Director
  • Wedding date: November 21, 2020

What events have you had to postpone or cancel?

With my wedding being in the late fall, we really didn’t have anything major planned just yet. However we have paused all talk of planning showers until all of this passes, so basically as of now, we are at a stand-still with all wedding events. I was planning to go bridesmaid dress shopping in April with all of my girls, which won’t be happening in light of all going on, so now I’m just looking online and setting virtual meetings with dress shops. But thanks to technology, I’ll be able to have everyone on the call and it can still be fun – just different than I originally pictured! 

How have your wedding plans changed?

So far, nothing has changed! Fingers crossed it stays that way. 

How are you feeling during this time?

I do have to admit that I feel a little overwhelmed, but I’m just trying to trust that everything will work out! It is a little scary planning a large event in a time like this and just hoping that life will be back to normal. Because I’m so type A, I hate feeling like I’m at a standstill in the process – I just want to be able to go on meetings with vendors and keep the ball rolling with the planning process, so that’s definitely been a change, I’m just having to sit back and be patient, but I keep reminding myself that my wedding is still pretty far away and hopefully all of this will be over by then. 

What has been your biggest concern while planning during COVID-19?

I have been planning to get married in the fall from the beginning, but now that COVID-19 is a factor, it stresses me out that so many weddings are being rescheduled for the fall, and it makes me fearful that vendors that I am interested will be too booked to accommodate my wedding on top of their rescheduled weddings. I get really torn and feel selfish whenever I hope that I can get my top vendors booked, because I also want everyone who’s having to reschedule to have a more than perfect day because of everything they’ve been through, but selfishly I want my day to be just as I envisioned as well. It’s been hard being in the beginning stages of wedding planning during this time because I feel like everyone, vendors included, don’t know what to expect and how to move forward.

How have you found positivity during this time?

My fiancé typically travels a lot and is gone way more often than not, so it’s actually been really nice to have some time for him to be home. We’ve had more face-to-face time together in the last few weeks than we have in a long, long time! It’s also been nice to be forced to slow down the wedding planning process because we’ve had some time to just enjoy being engaged and soak it all in together.

How have you been able to stay productive in your wedding planning?

I’ve used this time at home to collect addresses for our Save the Dates, which has not only been productive, but it’s been nice to have an excuse to catch up with and check on so many of our loved ones during this crazy time! I’ve also been spending a lot of time working on our wedding website, designing Save the Dates, looking online for bridesmaid dresses, and pinning a lot of ideas and inspo to Pinterest! This has also been a good time to do some research on bands for our wedding reception, so we’ve spent a lot of time on YouTube watching performances to help us make our decision. 

photo: Emily Nicole Photo


Coping with Wedding Planning During COVID-19 Pandemic

Randi Foreman

  • Production Coordinator for Brides of North Texas
  • Wedding date: June 5, 2021

What events have you had to postpone or cancel?

Since I just recently got engaged (February 2020), I have only done a little here and there to begin planning for the big day! So far I’ve had to postpone our engagement party and engagement photo session that were happening in March and April. I’m truly thankful that out of my events, these are the only ones getting postponed. My heart goes out to the brides that are having to postpone so much more! 

How have your wedding plans changed?

Our current wedding plans haven’t changed! We set the date for June 5, 2021.

How are you feeling during this time?

I’m feeling hopeful. I’m hopeful we will come out of this soon. I’m also just wanting to give current brides a huge hug during this time. I truly cannot imagine what it feels like to have to postpone, but I’m just hopeful that their new date will be such a blessing. I hope during this time people will continue to celebrate those brides until their new date to keep the excitement going. It’s hard when there is no knowing when this is all going to end. The unknown is what’s stressful and scary, but I have major faith that we will come out of this soon! 

What has been your biggest concern while planning during COVID-19?

My biggest concern has been even though our wedding is in summer of 2021, I have been nervous that vendors are going to book really fast due to all of the postponing of 2020 weddings. Again, the unknown of it all is scary. Who’s to say when this is going to end. Who’s to say it won’t effect my wedding next year. 

How have you found positivity during this time?

I’ve just been constantly reminding myself that I still have over a year and actually letting myself be excited about every thing we’ve decided upon thus far. Anything can change in a month, two months or even a year. So just keeping the hope and knowing that I’m not alone in this! 

How have you been able to stay productive in your wedding planning?

I’ve been working on/focusing on booking the things that don’t require an in-person appointment. Luckily, we already had our venue picked out before the stay at home orders were in place, but I’ve since booked our photographer, videographer and planner! All have been so great chatting with over the phone or email. Sadly, I have to wait to do certain things like try on dresses, taste cakes and find catering, but all in all, I think focusing on the things that don’t require an in-person meeting have helped me be very productive! It’s definitely helped the planning process to move forward still. 

photo: Madison Katlin Photography


Are you also a #coronabride? You are not alone in this craziness! We hope we can help with these bits of advice!

You Have to See this Editorial Inspired by the Oklahoma Sunset

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We are all in when it comes to Oklahoma-inspired weddings. Hilary Tailored Events knocked this editorial out of the park with bright florals, a classic, timeless theme and beautiful details. The elegant, hidden – in plain sight – gem that is Civic Center Music Hall was the ideal backdrop for Hilary’s vision. With gilded molding and bright light pouring in from the floor-to-ceiling windows, it’s truly a dreamy location. Florals from The Medieval Garden emulated the colors of our favorite Oklahoma sunset – oranges, yellows, violets and plums – and we just can’t get enough. The head table was gracefully set with classic china by BC Clark Jewelers, atop lush linens from Mood Party Rentals. Amy Cakes provided the daintiest cake showcasing a subtle inlaid design that would never go unnoticed. The darling invitation suite featured hand-drawn designs, including a very special pet friend, thanks to Paper + More. We are living for this customized invitation trend! Thanks to Lauren Haley Whitlock from Royal Oak Salon & Spa, the model bride’s perfect pony and stunning makeup was on-point. The bride wore a stunning deep-V gown with lace detailing and low back from Prescott Bridal. Bonobos dressed the groom in a dashing, two-toned suite – whoever said black and navy don’t pair well? Topped off with stunning gems from BC Clark Jewelers, this couple dazzled in the “Oklahoma sunset.” Captured by Mary Keen Photography, with videography by Unveiled Media, this editorial came to life, and we’re bringing it straight to you! Scroll below to find serious inspiration!!!

Photos // Mary Keen Photography

Video // Unveiled Media

From the planner, Hilary Ganong of Hilary Tailored Events: “I believe that a wedding style should be timeless so that you still enjoy your photographs 50 years from now, but also making sure you include fun elements to capture your distinct personalities. This shoot was driven by a desire to use colors mimicking the Oklahoma sunset while keeping the traditional style of an elegant celebration. My vendors took my vision to the next level, and I could not be more proud of the result. I hope this shoot inspires brides to not be afraid of bold and bright colors.”

Get to Know Oklahoma Wedding Planner MagPie Events

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Behind MagPie Events is Annie Brady, an Oklahoma wedding planner who considers herself a storyteller and a loving resource for couples during this most important time in their lives. Annie’s not concerned with whether weddings are big or small, intimate or grand, but whether they reflect love and intention. “I hope a MagPie wedding is recognized by the attention to detail, the high quality and the warmth that it reflects,” Annie explains.

“There are so many amazing planners out there in the world today – creative, organized, thoughtful, hardworking. I couldn’t know for sure what sets me a part. I just know how I approach a wedding. I view myself as a storyteller, trying to tell the story of a couple in one day or a weekend. Provide them with a moment that feels magical and yet familiar. I like to be a calm and loving force during their planning time, especially on their wedding day, and to reinforce perspective. I have a great respect for the time and hopes surrounding this day, but also remind everyone that this day is about love and celebration and to have that above all else.”

We’re so excited to share two beautiful weddings planned by Annie. Take a look below at the magic she can create!

Real Wedding Love

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

Photos // Imago Vita Photography

Annie says: “My favorite detail from the Burns wedding would be the backdrop of the boxwoods with the words and florals. I hadn’t seen that done yet as a backdrop at a dinner, and I loved the way it framed the dining space and particularly the head table. I also thought what was fun were the love balls all scattered around and in the fountain. That was a fun way to add something to the fountain, since they didn’t allow petals, which was our first choice. Sometimes second best is much better than the original idea.”

A great reminder that flexibility and an open mind can lead to great results! Annie’s advice when it comes to keeping up with the current wedding trends? “My favorite trend is to do a wedding the way you want. And I hope that never changes. No required protocol or numbers or looks or you-name-it… you can do what reflects you as a couple. I love the freedom to be yourself. That also means if you love something extravagant and can afford it, you should feel totally comfortable doing that. If you love the idea of a private elopement, that’s great too.”

Dreamy Destination Wedding

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

oklahoma wedding planner magpie events

Photos // Amy Herndon Photography

“My favorite detail from the Ocean View wedding was the seating chart. We had to be creative in so many ways for this because shipping to the Bahamas is expensive, especially tiny Harbour Island,” Annie explains. “So we had to carry everything with us. I was thinking what was light weight and foldable, and decided a seating chart printed on a piece of muslin attached to a piece of driftwood would be perfect. The group at Ocean View is so talented and they styled it beautifully with vines and greenery. Laurel & Marie worked their magic with the graphics.”


As you can see, weddings by MagPie Events are personal, whimsical, intentional and bright. Curious about working with Annie and the MagPie team? Reach out via their Brides of Oklahoma vendor profile!

12 Ways to Deal with Wedding Planning Stress During COVID-19

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We know wedding planning is stressful – that’s why we’re here! With the global crisis of COVID-19, we know planning a wedding has become 100x harder than before. That’s why we’ve gathered together some of the best ways to deal with wedding planning stress that are guaranteed to calm those nerves and clear your head! Nobody should be having to go through this added stress, much less alone! Remember, we’re all in this together (*cue High School Musical music*)!

ways to deal with wedding planning stress during COVID-19

Photo: Susan Alyse Photography

Be open and honest about what you need help with

Asking for help is hard – trust us, we get it. But, there’s absolutely no need to go at all this alone! Your wedding planner and vendor team are there to help you with ANYTHING you need. They understand the stress and anxiety you are going through, and will stop at nothing to make sure you are cared for in every way possible. Nothing is too big or small!

Trust your people

There is no better time than now to lean on your family, friends, bridesmaids and future spouse. They want to help you and know you need them now more than ever. Don’t be afraid to delegate simple tasks – such as keeping in contact with a vendor or asking them to check in with you daily. Again, don’t go at this alone! Your people are your best resource and biggest encouragers!

Set goals

Make a to-do list for every day and strive to finish it! Setting out to accomplish certain tasks every day will help eliminate procrastinating and reduce your stress. Anxiety is not planning your wedding, you are! Do not let your fear take away from having the day of your dreams. Aside from wedding planning goals, set healthy and positive goals! Going to bed early, making your bed every morning, and working out each day are a few of the hundreds of healthy and positive goals you can have!

Clear your head

Sometimes you need to step away from planning when it gets too overwhelming! There are tons of things you can do to clear your head or get yourself outside of the house. Some of our favorites include: taking a walk, playing with your pups, cleaning anything and everything, cooking dinner or trying out new recipes, or working out!

Relax!

Take some scheduled time away from planning by relaxing by yourself or with your family (6-feet apart, of course). Watching a new show on Netflix, reading that book you have been meaning to get to or coloring in an adult coloring book (you’re never too old) are a few simple ways. Taking some time away doesn’t have to be hard or boring!

Treat yourself

Girls night of one! Who’s with me? Spend an evening doing all the things: face masks, soaking in a nice warm bath, doing your nails, eating that ooey gooey chocolate cake and having a nice cup of hot cocoa or glass of wine (your preferred choice)!

Have an in-house date

Social distancing is hard, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still go on dates! There really is SO much you can do right inside your own house. May we suggest building the biggest and comfiest pillow fort, watching movies and eating homemade pizza and brownies you two made together? Brb while we go gather all our pillows and blankets for this one!

Hang out with your friends #socialdistancingstyle

Distancing from your bffs is so hard in this time, but thankfully technology is here to save the day! Virtual FaceTime hang outs are the new thing, and we 100% approve. Make the most of it by watching shows, baking cupcakes or playing board games. The possibilities are endless!

Sleep!

Sleep is soooo important when it comes to de-stressing! If there is one day you are feeling particularly stressed, take a nap, and your body will thank you later. Going to bed early and getting enough sleep will also help! Our parents always said sleep was important, and now we believe it. This is an oh-so crucial step!

Think big picture

Yes, you want your wedding day to be the most spectacular thing you have ever witnessed. But, you do not need to worry and stress yourself to death about it! Remember it is a special day where all of your friends and family will be gathered to support and celebrate YOU. How special is that? Wedding planning should bring you closer to your future spouse and help you remember that you get to spend the rest of your life with them after the ceremony. After all, a wedding is much more than just the day!

Embrace the imperfections

I think we can all agree that Hannah Montana said it best – nobody’s perfect. There will be flaws in your wedding day, and all you can do is embrace them, don’t deny them! This will be the only way you will be able to cope with if things go wrong (something might!). But don’t worry, you GOT this! We so believe in you!

Stay positive!

As hard as it may seem in today’s circumstances, it is possible to see the bright side of things! Things will work out in the end! You will have the day of your dreams! It will not be like this forever. Again, you got this and we believe in you! You are killing this wedding planning and COVID-19 is no match for you!


Check out these other COVID-19 related posts too: Postponing Your Wedding? You’ll Want to Read These Tips and How to Continue Wedding Planning While Stuck at Home.

How to Write Your Wedding Vows — Including Inspo and a Writing Guide

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Is there anything more romantic than two people promising to love each other for the rest of their lives? Whether they do that with silly sentiments or a more solemn pledge — it’s pretty unforgettable. 

Now it’s your turn to create once-in-a-lifetime vows to your special someone, so we’ve created a quick guide with examples and advice for how to write meaningful wedding vows. Maybe you’re like a Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation) when it comes to writing your wedding vows —“The first draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we got engaged, clocked in at around 70 pages.” Or you might be more of a Bella Swan (Twilight) When I first learned I was going to write my own vows, I panicked. I looked at the paper for hours, no words coming to mind.” Either way, we are going to help you successfully navigate how to write your wedding vows with tips, inspiration, and a step-by-step writing guide. 

elegant barn wedding sparrow

Photo // Carsyn Abrams Photography

The Origin of Wedding Vows 

The origin of wedding vows goes back to ancient times. During the Roman Empire, when a bride’s father would “deliver” her to the groom, the couple would agree that they were wed and kept the vow of marriage by mutual agreement. 

The traditional vows we know today that vow “to have and hold from this day forward…” are one of the oldest wedding traditions going back to the medieval times when the Book of Common Prayer was published in 1549. 

There are variations, but they started out like this —

I (name) take thee (name) to my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.” 

Flash forward to today and couples are blending tradition and culture together with their own unique love story and personality by writing their own vows. 

Myths About Writing Your Wedding Vows 

Don’t let the task of writing your wedding vows intimidate you because of outdated myths about it. Here are some myths that may be stopping you from writing your vows.

1. You have to be a great writer.

Not true. Feel free to quote famous writers, but you don’t have to be one to create beautiful vows. Your wedding vows are about writing what’s in your heart and making promises to someone you are building a life with. It doesn’t need to be perfect — it only needs to be meaningful. Don’t worry about if it’s the greatest thing ever written. 

2. You have to memorize them.

Don’t let the movies or books you’ve seen (while wonderful) make you think you have to know your vows by heart in order for them to be authentic. That’s putting undue pressure on yourself. Reading your own vows during the ceremony is a great way to be in the moment and not worried about remembering your speech in front of a large crowd on one of the biggest days in your life. Plus, that piece of paper or beautiful notebook becomes a keepsake for your family in generations to come. 

3. You have to do them by yourself — or it’s not authentic or romantic. 

This is a sneaky one because it is important that the vows come from your heart and your perspective, but there’s no shame in getting help making sure you clearly communicate what you’re feeling. This help could come from friends or family — or it could come from a professional wedding vow writer. That’s right. There are wedding vow writers that help you take what you’re feeling and craft something epic, if that’s important to you. 

4. You can’t have traditional vows and write your own. 

Traditional vows, especially ones that are intrinsic to the ceremony, can be beautiful and even necessary in some cultures or venues. But that doesn’t mean you can’t create your own personal messages with promises to each other during the ceremony. This can come at the beginning of the ceremony or even after the traditional vows just before the pronouncement.

Wedding Vow Inspiration

Even the most skilled poet needs inspiration and the same is true for you when writing your own vows. Before you can start writing your wedding vows you’ll want to look for inspiration. 

Here’s a great example of what writing your wedding vows can look like. 

Videographer: Transform Visuals

(Click here to watch more examples of couples sharing their vows on our Youtube channel.) 

On-Screen Wedding Vows

We’ve talked about how you don’t have to be a good writer to write good vows, but there’s no harm in pulling from your favorite on-screen (or page) couples for inspiration — or even to directly quote.

Here are some sample wedding vows from on-screen (or page) weddings and what inspiration you can take from them.  

Paige and Leo (The Vow)  

Inspiration: Make real promises both serious and silly that reflect your love and relationship.

Paige I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Leo I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once-in-a-lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.

 

Julian and Brooke (One Tree Hill)

Inspiration: Tell them how they have changed your life and why you love them. 

Julian — Brooke, before I met you I thought my world had everything I needed to be happy. I had nothing else to compare it to, then you walked into my life and everything changed. I realized how empty my world was without you in it, and my old life was no longer capable of making me happy … not without you. I love everything about you, Brooke. I love the way you challenged me like no one ever has. I love the way you look at me like no one ever has, and I love the way you love me like no one ever has. I can’t imagine spending my life without you, and if you say “yes” to me in a few minutes, I won’t have to. You look beautiful by the way. 

Brooke — Julian, before I met you my world revolved around one thing … me. And I like it that way — on my own, but then I met you and you saw through the facade. You saw me. You’ve taught me to trust, how to let someone in, and what it truly means to fall in love. I can’t possibly describe how much I love you, so I’ll tell you why I love you. You see the world in a way that no one else does and you appreciate  everything, including me. There’s no one in the world like you, and if you say “yes” in a few minutes, I’ll get to spend the rest of my life trying to see the world through your eyes, appreciating everything, including you … the most unique, wonderful, and terribly handsome man I have ever met. 

 

Leslie and Ben (Parks and Recreation)

Inspiration: Allow each other to create vows that reflect your unique personalities and perspectives. They don’t have to match. 

Ben — In my time working for the state government, my job sent me to 46 cities in 11 years. I lived in villages with eight people, rural farming communities, college towns. I was sent to every corner of Indiana. And then I came here, and I realized that this whole time I was just wandering around everywhere, just looking for you.

Leslie — The things that you have done for me, to help me, support me, surprise me, to make me happy, go above and beyond what any person deserves. You’re all I need. I love you and I like you.

Ben — I love you and I like you.

 

Phoebe and Mike (Friends)

Inspiration: Let your quirkiness shine through and don’t try to fit a fancy mold — just be your authentic self.

Phoebe — When I was growing up, I didn’t have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I’m standing here today, knowing that I have everything I’m ever gonna need. You are my family.

Mike — Phoebe, you are so beautiful. You’re so kind, you’re so generous, you’re so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure. I can’t believe how lucky I am, and I can’t wait to share my life with you forever.

Phoebe — Oh wait, I forgot! And, um…I love you. And you have nice eyes.

Mike — I love you too.

 

Topanga and Cory (Boy Meets World) 

Inspiration: Recount your love story, reflect on the obstacles you’ve overcome, and share your hopes for the future.

Topanga — I wasn’t sure this day would ever come, but you were. I wasn’t sure love could survive everything we put it through, but you were. You were always strong and always sure. And now I know I want you to stand beside me for the rest of my life. That’s what I’m sure of.

Cory — Ever since I was young I never understood anything about the world, and I never understood anything that happened in my life. The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you. That’s all I’ve ever known, and that’s enough, that’s enough for me, for the rest of my life.

 

(This list wouldn’t be complete without some of the most romantic confessions in literature. While they are technically proposals, it’s great vow inspiration!)

Pride and Prejudice (Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet)

Inspiration: Let the great writers of history be your partner. If a quote or passage from a story reflects how you feel, quote it and let it help you speak from your heart. 

Mr. Darcy on when he first fell in love with Elizabeth (Book)I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.

Mr. Darcy (Screenplay) You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.

Anne of Green Gables (Anne to Gilbert) 

Inspiration: Use your previous conversations or shared history to add extra meaning to your vows. 

Anne quoting herself from a previous conversation— I don’t want diamond sunbursts or marble halls. I just want you.

A Guide for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Now that you’ve been inspired, it’s time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) to start writing! 

While each person’s vows are unique to them and their story, here is a guide to get you started. The result from this simple prompt will be authentic, meaningful content to create your own beautiful wedding vows. 

Remember, this doesn’t have to be long or fancy, just write what comes to mind. 

  1. Write down your love story.
  2. Write down what the moment was that you first knew you loved them. 
  3. Write down the greatest blessing(s) having them in your life has brought you.
  4. Write down three things that you love most about them. 
  5. Write down one reason you want to marry them. 
  6. Write down why you want to go through life together with them.
  7. Write down what you hope to bring to their life. 
  8. Describe how you feel about building a life with them.
  9. Describe how you see going through life together. 
  10. Look back at what you’ve written and write three promises (or vows) that show your commitment to making that a reality. 

This will help you get a general structure to your vows. You’ll start to see a theme and be able to pick the most important elements out. Even if you would love to get professional help, this will be invaluable information to do that as well.

Pro Tips to Keep You On Track

  • Consider your venue restrictions before writing your vows. Some places require certain traditional vows, but may allow a personalization before or after the official vows. Talk to your venue or wedding planner for confirmation. 
  • It’s not recommended to write your wedding vows together with your significant other, but do talk about expectations. You don’t want to have a five-minute monologue on one side and a single sentence on another. 
  • If you want professional help writing, your wedding planner is a great source of help to either find a professional writer or to give you feedback directly. 
  • Read your vows aloud to see how long they are, and be sure to practice before the big day. 
  • Don’t leave this task until the last minute. Tweaks and changes are fine, but it’s best to have this ready in advance. A month to two weeks before the big day is a great timeline for having the finished product. 
  • Start gathering inspiration now, do the writing prompt, and let that simmer for a while before you start writing. 

For more inspiration on wedding vows, check out our real couples’ wedding videos on our YouTube Channel to see how different couples tackled this task. Happy writing!