Ahh, wedding planning. On one hand, such a blissful time. On the other – completely stressful. It can be so easy to lose sight of things as you’re checking off a million to-do lists and keeping dozens of obligations straight. But as you’re in the thick of these, remember not to let these common wedding mistakes derail your bridal bliss. From the planning process to the actual day of, keep these pitfalls in mind and know what to do to avoid these extra stresses.
Photo // Tammy Odell Photography
1. Not setting and sticking to a budget
Probably the top mistake we see brides dealing with has to do with the numbers. Budget is a sensitive subject and if it’s not discussed candidly from the beginning, problems are sure to arise. Sit down with your fiancé and/or family members who may be helping to pay for things early on in the wedding planning process and decide on figures that are comfortable for everyone – an overall number is important, but be sure to set budgets for sub-categories, as well. As you meet with vendors, be up front about your budget and don’t look at options you know will cause you to exceed your agreed-upon budget. There’s never any sense in spending more on wedding expenses than you can realistically afford.
2. Letting other people’s opinions carry too much weight
Aunt Mary would prefer you pick a summer date rather than a fall date? Your future sister-in-law thinks you should go for a blush color scheme, rather than the green and gold you’ve picked out? Your cousin doesn’t care for your wedding dress? Uncle Bob wishes you would’ve done a steak dinner instead of hors d’oeuvres? Let it all go, sister. You will never, ever be able to please every single person who chooses to share their opinion about your wedding, and truthfully, the only opinions that matter are yours and your partner’s. Be confident in your decisions and don’t be afraid to respectfully and succinctly stand up for yourself and your choices. This is your day, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you choose to celebrate.
3. Going overboard on trendy elements
With a plethora of inspiration at your fingertips, from Pinterest to Instagram to wedding websites like this one, you’re sure to see a wide variety of beautiful trends worth emulating within your own celebration. However – there’s a fine line between tastefully trendy and way too many trends. If you truly love a trendy detail, go for it! But anticipate looking back on your wedding photos many years from now: you don’t want your first thought to be “Wow! That’s all so 2019.” Utilize trends carefully, as accentual elements among a timeless backdrop, and you can enjoy the best of both worlds. An experienced wedding planner can help you put all the pieces together and figure out the best way to incorporate all the elements that feel most like you.
4. Letting life revolve around wedding planning
An an engaged gal, planning your wedding will undoubtedly take up a large portion of your life. But it should never become your whole life! Be cognizant of how you’re spending your time throughout the wedding planning process and make sure to set aside time for self care, friendships, relaxation and of course, your partner. Don’t forget to keep dating your sweetheart throughout this season! Need more advice on balancing wedding planning with real life, all while keeping your soon-to-be spouse on board and excited for all the plans to be made? Check out this post.
5. Not having a backup plan
This is a huge one, and in the midst of COVID-19, we’ve unfortunately seen this play out in some very disheartening ways. Obviously, not a single one of us ever anticipated a global pandemic to up-end the wedding industry and hundreds of thousands of brides’ plans along with it, but if there’s one thing this situation has taught us, it’s that things don’t always go as planned. No matter when you plan to wed, be prepared to go with the flow, adapt and accept that things may not look exactly as you’d envisioned. Especially when it comes to weather – if your plan A includes an outdoor ceremony, always, always, always have a Plan B thoroughly thought out in the event of an unforeseen storm.
6. Setting unrealistic expectations for vendors
Finding the right vendors is an integral part of making your wedding day visions come to life, and it’s our hope that you’ll get to work with a team of pros who feel more like friends! However, it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, wedding vendors are human, too, and they also have multiple clients and multiple costs that go into the services they’re providing. It’s perfectly fair to expect open communication, a professional job well done and to get what you’re paying for, but it’s also fair to treat vendors with respect and understanding. Mistakes and miscommunications sometimes happen and a little kindness can go a long way.
7. Trying to do it all
One of the easiest wedding mistakes to make? Taking on too much. Even if you’re the most Type A bride in the world, there are certain things best left to professionals and certain things that will still get taken care of if you delegate them to a trusted family member, friend or fiancé. Split the work, trust your vendor team and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it!
8. Being too stressed to enjoy the actual wedding day
All of the effort that goes into planning culminates in one final day: your dream day! And trust us: you’ll want to be fully present so you can enjoy it. If a wedding planner or a day-of coordinator is not a priority in your budget, we strongly recommend asking a trusted, detail-oriented family member or friend who’s not in your wedding party to help oversee logistics on the day of. Make sure you’ve given detailed instructions to all privy parties to help navigate the wedding weekend (like an itinerary for your bridal party and family members with addresses, phone numbers and pertinent times on the schedule to be aware of). Either way, once your wedding day is here, it’s not worth stressing about things you can’t control or change. Let things unfold naturally, sit back, enjoy yourself and take it all in! You only get to live through this day once, and it goes SO fast.
Bottom line? Don’t sweat the small stuff. Nobody’s wedding planning process, much less wedding day, goes 100% as planned. Be flexible, ask for help, focus on the big picture and always, always remember that your marriage is 1000 times more important than any detail of your wedding day. It’s just the beginning of your story! Remember, Brides of Oklahoma is always here to assist and to provide helpful resources. We’re cheering for you the whole way!