Help! How Do I Get My Significant Other Involved in the Wedding Planning?
by Brides of Oklahoma June 4
If you’re anything like us, you LIVE for all things wedding planning. Making wedding decisions and picking things out, while sometimes overwhelming, is also super exciting, right? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, after all! However, not everyone shares this same passion – and that’s OK! If your partner seems apathetic about wedding planning or isn’t totally eager to participate in the planning process, you’re not alone! Not sure how to get your significant other on board for all that comes with wedding planning, or at least to share their input? Check out our tips below!
Photo // Lauren Beauregard Photography
1. Limit the wedding talk.
Wait, aren’t we talking about wedding planning here? Don’t we need to talk about the wedding as we’re planning it? Well of course! But if your partner isn’t as excited about the planning process as you are, one sure way to make them even less excited about it is talking wedding plans 24/7. Be conscious of how often your conversations revolve around wedding planning, and resolve to take it down a notch. Pencil in a few dates each month where you can both focus several hours on decision-making, and outside of those days, find other things to talk about. Go on dates and vow NOT to discuss anything wedding-related. Trust us – by limiting the planning discussions and not overwhelming your partner with wedding talk, they’re more likely to want to be involved when you do decide to discuss important decisions together!
2. Find out which wedding decisions they DO care about and take their ideas seriously.
You can’t expect your partner to be on board for wedding plans if they feel like they aren’t being heard or that their opinions don’t even matter. Soon after getting engaged, sit down with your significant other and have a candid conversation to find out which wedding-related decisions they do care about, and honor their ideas! Maybe they have strong opinions about the catering or dessert menu; maybe there are certain guests they want to make sure to invite; maybe they have ideas about the reception entertainment – whatever it is, let them voice their ideas and truly take them into account! Remember, the wedding should reflect both of your personalities and preferences!
3. Ask them to join you for just a few of the major in-person visits.
Wedding planning can involve quite a few visits to vendors. From the photographer to the calligrapher, rentals to rings, you’re likely to rack up several meetings before your big day. If your partner doesn’t care to attend every visit with every vendor, that’s OK! You shouldn’t expect them to want to attend all meetings, so it might work better to pick a few major vendor visits that mean the most to you or where you’ll really value their input (let them know that!) and ask them to attend those few with you. If they join you for the initial venue walk-through and a visit to the caterer to taste menu options, but prefer not to pick out linens at the rental shop or go over layouts with the planner, remember: don’t sweat the small stuff! Tackle the big things together and take care of the smaller tasks on your own (or get your maid-of-honor to help out!).
4. Learn what they’ve liked before.
If you’ve been together for a while, you’ve likely attended at least a few weddings together in the past. Ask your partner to think back on those events and pinpoint what they liked (or didn’t like!) about them. Did your college roommate’s wedding have a great band or an awesome cake? Did your cousin’s wedding have fun yard games to play during cocktail hour? Perhaps there was a wedding you attended where something happened that you both want to avoid. If wedding planning isn’t your partner’s thing, it can be hard for them to come up with their own ideas or even to be confident in what they like. Thinking back on past events you’ve attended can help jog their memory and get the ideas flowing, for both of you!
5. Give them one thing to focus on.
Once you have an idea of your partner’s preferences and priorities, give him or her one major task to tackle, and let them run with it! Would they love to come up with a signature cocktail for the bar? Could they be in charge of creating the must-play song list for the DJ? Maybe they’re great at crunching numbers and wouldn’t mind creating and overseeing a budget spreadsheet. This task could be large-scale or smaller, but whatever it is, give your significant other autonomy in the decision-making process and let them know how much you value their help.
Remember, Brides of Oklahoma is here to help during the planning process, every step of the way! We’ve got thousands of inspirational images to pour through, dozens of top-rated wedding vendors to explore and a team of experts sharing tips and tricks daily on our social channels. We’re here for you and we can’t wait to see your wedding day vision come to life!
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